From: Sarah Albertini-Bond (serendipity77_at_gmail.com)
Date: Sun May 06 2007 - 04:50:47 PDT
"Surviving Grief Anyway You Can"
<continued from Jerome's "Coming Soon">
=/\=
Location: GATEWAY STATION – 2
Stardate: 2.70506.0744
Scene: Abassador Bonviva's office
TI: Last week
"You have a request to assist a SFI Agent."
Xana looked over at the latest in a long line of Chief of Staffs
who was trying to fill her in on what her latest duties were. "Oh."
The Human woman said nothing so she figured this was her reason
to continue on. "Yes, there was a Human SFI Agent who was caught going
behind enemy lines and now is in prison. Starfleet is, of course,
disavowing all knowledge of anything. But EARTH's government wants the
Agent back, and is saying that SF wants him back too but can't say so
publicly. So they were thinking that perhaps if you talk to the – "
"Leave the file and go," Xana interrupted. Looking out the
window she said, "I have half an hour before my next meeting – I'll read
over the file during that time."
The woman said nothing but dropped the PADD on the desk and
left. Eilean Peri who had been in the corner said nothing during the
meeting but once the woman left she asked, "So what do you think of this
assistant?"
"She won't last the day," the Bolian/Italian predicted.
The Xenxenian studied her friend before saying; "You run them
into the ground. Of course no one will last a day at that rate. The ones
insane enough to survive are then fired by you for some reason or another."
When her friend said nothing but just picked up the PADD to read, Eilean
continued on, "You going to keep ignoring me?"
"That was the idea," Xana replied softly.
Eilean swore at that and moved from her position in the corner
of the office to standing just before her friend. "When was the last time
you were home?"
"A few hours ago."
"Gene must have loved that," Eilean replied. "You pop in for a
few hours to sleep, shower, and then you go."
"He understands," Xana replied still reading the PADD.
If the term "too understanding" could be applied to someone,
Eilean thought to herself, it would apply to Gene McInnis. Xana had done
fine up until now – when her last job was at stake and then trying to get
this one had kept Xana too busy to focus on some emotional truths that the
Bolian/Italian had ignored. But now she couldn't ignore them and it was
going to kill Xana if she didn't just deal with them. "Does Dahlia
understand why her mother doesn't pay her any attention?"
Xana didn't even show a reaction. "Her father is a Commander in
Starfleet and her mother is an Ambassador. She's going to have to learn
that she's not always the center of attention."
Eilean said nothing to that because she realized that her
friend's wounds went too deep.
=/\=
Scene: CNS Office
Although marriage counseling wasn't strictly something that Gene
had studied, he figured he could have winged it if need be. True he was
surprised when this couple showed up in his office but they had a very busy
life, it would make sense that they'd want a marital check-up, as it were. The
Bajoran/Celt wouldn't divide his feelings for them but rather use those
feeling to help them through whatever it was they needed help with.
However, the couple in his office wasn't there because they were worried
about their marriage – they were worried about his and Xana's.
Jeff Gorman had been talking. "Look man, we don't want to
intrude on you guys. Really we don't. It's just we're all friends.
Family. It's just that given what Xana was saying the other night, it just
didn't sound like her. And then we saw her on the Promenade and…well she
wasn't right. I mean there's another word for it, and you'd know that
better than us—"
Kat, who was more likely to get to a point as she was to draw a
blade, cut to the heart of the matter. "Xana is becoming unhinged."
Gene sighed and sat back in his chair. They all had gotten the word that
Tomas' was now with the BORG. The BORG, being BORG, had been sparse on the
details. Using what few contacts he had, the Bajoran/Celt had tried to find
out more. But he was clearly not a priority for the BORG so the answers
hadn't come. What they did know was that Tomas' was gone. He was fine,
evidently, but gone. He was gone and he didn't say anything to Xana about
it, and that had hurt her. And that meant it hurt Gene.
She was grieving, Gene thought as he listened to Kat and Jeff
talk about what they had seen. She was grieving for the friend she thought
she knew. The friend she would have thought who would have reached out to
her before leaving.
His wife was also an Avatar of Love and Pain. It was a Bolian
thing, and although Gene had read about it, he knew that while he could
learn about such things, he wouldn't be able to really *know* them. From
what Xana had told him she would always feel joy and anguish more than any
other emotions. And to be an avatar to gods meant to be alone. Gene wasn't
fond of that idea so he had told her he would be with her. It had comforted
his wife, he knew, when he said that. That she wouldn't be alone, she could
always turn around and he'd be there for her.
"She was walking through the Promenade," Jeff was explaining,
"and she…well she didn't look good. We were worried so we went over to her.
I mean she looked like she was in pain. And her staff was all with her but
when we got there and chatted…she said she was fine. But she didn't sound
fine."
Kat, while noshing a homemade cookie in Gene's office, sat back in her
chair. "She sounded…dead," she said softly. She didn't say how she knew
this, how she was able to pinpoint this. Some wounds went too deep and her
and Xana had with some others, once a long time ago, stood on the edge of
the Federation and found themselves betrayed. It had killed her friend
inside, not only to be betrayed by the Federation but to have her crew
betrayed as well. Kat had never wanted to hear that kind of pain again from
Xana. That she had, that she had heard that emotional void in her friend's
voice to what should have been a simple question, had spurned on Kat.
Xana was grieving, Gene thought to himself, and she was walking a path of
pain and loneliness. When she turned around she'd realize that her love was
there. But first, Xana had to want to get out of the pain.
Personally Tomas' had started out as a source of severe irritation, both
professionally and personally to Gene, and it made some kind of twisted
sense that he was doing so again…
=/\=
Scene: Bonviva/McInnis Quarters
It was late, very late. Dahlia was washed and put down for the
night. Gene had already eaten, showered, and was sitting up reading. He
too should go to bed. But he couldn't because his wife wasn't here. It was
bad enough that he had problems sleeping when they had to be separated. But
she was on the station, and to the best of his knowledge she had no
engagements for this evening. Punching the pillow, he tried to get more
comfortable while turning off the lights. He kept his mind off the fact
that Xana should have been home already.
The outer door opened, and even though the pressure locks were
designed so that when opened it did so with little audible sound, Gene still
heard it. He still heard it, not because of any fault of Engineering for
making a loud door but because he heard a "thump" after the doors opened.
Swinging out of bed, the Commander said softly, "Computer,
lights 20% in bedroom and living area only." No need to wake up Dahlia if
he didn't have to.
The computer did as he said while he slipped his feet into slippers; with
that he got out of bed, slipped into a robe, and walked out to the living
room. Slouched on the floor was Xana with an exhausted Angus. Walking over
to his love, Gene sat on the floor, watching his love. There were lines
around her eyes, Gene noticed for the first time. Deep blue circles under
her violet eyes were the physical indication of what he had already known –
she wasn't getting enough sleep.
Suddenly she began talking, and it wasn't in her normal voice,
but one laden with all forms of exhaustion and agony. "I had all these
meetings…I skipped them. Another assistant quit today. Eilean says I'm
running them into the ground and that's why they quit. But not all of them
have quit – some of them I've fired. It's not my fault that they're weak."
Anger, Gene thought. There were 5 stages of grief, and the
first four came in no particular order and could be intermingled at any
point. Xana hit upon anger first. "Are you running them into the ground?"
"I refuse to have weak people on my staff and if they can't keep
up then out they'll go," Xana snapped. Weariness settled in on her
features. "I was supposed to go to this negotiation but…I put it off. I
just took Angus for a walk. And we walked. We walked all over the station,
to places I've forgotten about and places that are new. And then it was the
weirdest thing Gene."
"What, Xana? What was so weird?"
"I was thinking about work…about why I'm not having as much fun
anymore…and suddenly I had problems seeing. I couldn't figure out why that
was. So I had Angus lead me home, I mean I could see but it was all
blurry…"
Gene sighed at that. Brushing his finger across Xana's cheek he
held it up for her to see. "Love, you were crying. See, look at my finger.
You were crying. That's why you couldn't see."
Xana looked at Gene's finger for the longest time before shaking
her head. "That's just silly, what reason do I have to cry?"
**Denial isn't just a river in Egypt,** Gene thought to himself.
=/\=
Location: GS-2
Scene: BORG Consulate
"Consul Jono, as the Terran Ambassador, I cannot of course ever
confirm why I was ever here."
Consul Jono, ever the diplomatic BORG nodded at this. When
Ambassador Bonviva requested, through secure diplomatic channels, for a
meeting he was surprised but kept that to himself. Instead he made himself
available to the Ambassador and if he could have remembered what it was to
be curious he would have been. Instead he stood in an inner chamber of the
BORG Consulate watching the blue Ambassador from EARTH stand there in her
prim white suit and tied back white hair, watching and waiting.
"Understood," Jono replied. "That is why we are in the
diplomatic chamber – no recorders here." Of course what he didn't mention
is that his personal recorders were always on. But Xana Bonviva knew that –
it was just understood.
Xana looked around at the antiseptic chamber before turning her
gaze back on the Consul. "About a day from now, the Klingons will tell you
about a Terran SFI Agent that was caught spying on the Romulans on behalf of
both Starfleet and EARTH's government. EARTH and Starfleet will disavow any
knowledge of the mission that he was on, and indeed of the agent himself."
Silence descended upon the Consulate, which was not unusual in
and of itself. It was unusual for the azure woman to be so silent but Jono
did not comment on this.
"However…if the agent was returned to us…quietly…then EARTH
would be appreciative."
Jono nodded at that. The BORG had already heard whispers of the
agent. He was not surprised the Ambassador was here about him, and if she
hadn't come he figured that it would have been up to him to go to her. But
to have her come to him like this, certainly put him in a position of power
and the BORG loved power.
"Is there anything else, Ambassador?"
There was something else she wanted to ask. Not on behalf of
EARTH but for herself. But to do that she'd have to do some fancy footwork.
"You know I haven't been feeling too good lately. Been rather stiff," she
mentioned while giving an exaggerated shoulder roll. "Ever suffer from
that? You know fall asleep the wrong way and then get all stiff?"
"No. The regeneration chambers and my nineties prohibit that,"
Jono replied.
"Oh, well that's good for you," Xana continued on. "You know
it's funny I was walking around with my dog the other day and I saw some
people coming in from the shuttles that orbit the station. And of course
some of those shuttles offer services that are…well not encouraged on the
GATEWAY. But of course those shuttles, once in space, are in neutral space
if they get out far enough. And funny enough…I thought I saw you."
"Nonsense," Jono replied quickly.
"Of course," Xana smiled. Dropping her voice she said, "Because
it would be frowned up on if the BORG Senior Consul was seen coming off an
Orion "services" shuttle…wouldn't it?" She waited a beat before continuing
on, "You know it would cause so many…*interesting* situations. Why I could
just imagine what that would do for the BORG during certain discussions."
There was silence in the room now but because Jono needed to
weigh his options. Finally he said, "Ambassador Bonviva you have always
been a friend to the BORG Consul here, both professionally and personally. If
there was anything we could do for you, you only have to ask."
"Vukovic," she said. Looking back at him she replied, "I want
Vukovic back."
Jono closed his eyes at that. He was afraid she was going to
ask for that. Opening up his eyes he said, "Vukovic…is gone."
"Dead?" she whispered.
"No," Jono replied after accessing his internal database that
hooked him up to the BORG. "But he is for all intent and purposes gone from
daily BORG activities. I cannot bring to you what I do not have access to."
He waited a beat before saying, "Tell me what he was to you. We
will…replicate that and supply you with another just like him."
"What he was to me?" Xana gave a mirthless chuckle at that. "No, not even
the BORG could replicate that."
=/\=
Location: GS-2
Scene: Vukovic's Quarters
Since Tomas' was not coming back during any foreseeable time, it
had been processed through the appropriate channels that his items needed to
be removed from his diplomatic quarters so that they might be used for
another occupant. And according to his directives, Tomas' had evidently
requested that Xana Bonviva be the one to dispose of his items as she
wished.
She had begun to clean out the closet. It was immaculate and
neat, which didn't surprise her. She had put the clothing and shoes into
boxes for donations.
But what did surprise her were the boxes she found neatly wrapped in the
back of the closet. The first box was for Dahlia, his godchild, and in it
was a holo-program of children's stories. Another box was here and that had
a pitcher with some Bloody Mary mix for her grandmother – a woman he had
gone drinking with after her other grandmother had died. Eilean's birthday
gift was simple – it was a beautiful Kobali blade inscribed with her name. He
even had something for Gene's birthday ready – a white cowboy hat.
The last box had her hands shaking since she saw her name written on it. She
couldn't open up this one. She didn't want to know what it was that Tomas'
bought for her. She didn't want to open it without him being here…
Sitting on the floor, Xana stopped fighting the sadness and
misery. She confronted the truth of the situation – he was alive but unable
to come home. His path had now diverged from hers and while she could
respect that, she mourned it. She mourned the loss of his friendship and of
all the years they could have had together.
Alone in her friend's room, with so little of himself here except for her
and her family that she enveloped him in, she cried.
=/\=
Location: GS-2
Scene: Bonviva/McInnis Quarters
TI: Last night
Gene listened to Xana recount, wearily cleaning out Tomas' room
as they sat on the sofa while watching Dahlia stack blocks on the ground. "Do
you think he knew?" Gene asked. "Do you think that's why he had those
presents there?"
"I don't know," Xana replied. Sighing she continued on, "It's
not like we can ask him either."
"When are you going to open up your present?" Gene asked,
noticing that her box was still shut tight.
Xana shook her head. "Not now."
"You know…you haven't been acting like yourself," Gene
commented.
Xana shrugged at that. "I think that was to be expected."
"True. So what does not acting like yourself extend to…" Gene offered as he
made a face for Dahlia's benefit.
"Want to fill me in or am I playing "Name That Blank"?"
Gene thought about telling her about Kat and Jeff's visit and then decided
against it. "It's just you've been erratic – what with firing people left
and right – "
"I'm asking someone to do a lot, not everyone will succeed," Xana pointed
out. Considering things she continued on while bouncing a stuffed targ
around for Dahlia's sake, "I'll make some of my expectations clearer so that
people aren't surprised by things."
The Bajoran nodded. "Avoiding friends and family."
"That will change," the Ambassador promised.
"Plotting against the new CO.
"Hell no, that's not changing," Xana swore.
Gene sighed at that. "I tried," he muttered.
For awhile they played with Dahlia, allowing their cheerful child distract
them. They were interrupted by a doorbell. "Enter," Gene called out.
An Arcadian man stood in the doorway. It wasn't everyday that
an Arcadian stood in the doorway so it took Gene a moment to gather himself.
From what he could tell, the Arcadian was about the same age as they were
but there was no real way of knowing that without asking. Like all
Arcadians, this one had a smooth skull except for two large parallel lines
of hair protruding from his head. He wasn't very tall, Gene mused, about
five and a half feet tall and his body, at least from Gene could tell under
the flowing silver and black tunic and slacks that he wore, seemed to be
slim. The man's nose was small and barely extended from his face, unlike
his large wide pointed ears. It was the eyes that got to the Bajoran/Celt
though – they were pure black with no discernable iris nor pupil. Standing
before the family the Arcadian bowed. "Ambassador I apologize for bothering
you but I had urgent news."
Xana nodded. Standing up with Gene she said, "Mr. Zeman, this
my husband Commander McInnis and my daughter Dahlia Bonviva/McInnis." Turning
to her husband she said, "Gene, this is Slater Zeman…he's trying out the
position of Chief of Staff."
"Pleased to meet you," Gene nodded as he bowed before the man as
Zeman had done moments earlier. Looking at the two of them he said, "You
know I think I need to get something from the kitchen."
Gene tried very hard not to listen to the conversation but he
did pick up the phrase, "The Lunan package has been delivered" and unless
his wife was now suddenly sending gifts to LUNA he knew that meant more than
what it sounded like. Sticking his head in the fridge, Gene routed out some
drinks and hung out in the kitchen while they spoke softly. As their voices
got softer and further away, Gene figured it was a good time to start making
his way out of the kitchen.
He saw them standing at the door – his wife, the Ambassador, and
the man she was trying out in the position that her good friend had. He
remembered what she had said earlier – that she had been either firing
people who were in the position or that they were quitting under the
demands. He wondered what category Mr. Zeman would fall into.
"So, Ambassador…now what?" Slater asked.
Xana sighed where she was standing while considering it. "Alright
Zeman, you can keep trying out the Chief of Staff position. Good work. Sleep
well. I'll most likely fire you tomorrow."
Gene, standing in the shadows, chuckled softly at that in spite
of himself.
=/\=
Scene: Promenade->Impulse Drives
TI: Today
The GATEWAY was so large that he could blend in the middle of a
crowd, even while wearing the red and pips. Of course it helped that barely
a soul knew him on the station. Michael Turlogh Kane enjoyed the sensation
of not being at the center of attention and allowed himself to people watch.
Unlike others, he didn't people watch for the sheer entertainment of it but
out of careful practice and battle-honed instincts, looking for the worst
that could happen as his mind spun out scenarios of catastrophes and how he
would respond.
Your clan having their own doom did strange things to an already
troubled soul.
Turning into a rather shifty looking shop called "Impulse
Drives", the Captain walked through the doors and poked around the shop that
seemed to have no real design to it and stocked a little bit of everything.
"Captain Kane, how wonderful to have the new CO in my shop."
That made Kane's spine stiffen. Part of it had to do with the
fact that he knew he wasn't that all well known here and yet this little
shopkeeper knew who he was, on sight. It was a tad suspicious, although if
Michael wanted to give the benefit of the then he could surmise that people
were aware of the CO coming and this gent was a bit more perceptive than
most in noticing the pips and red uniform and took a shrewd guess.
But Kane wasn't inclined to give the benefit of the doubt.
Ever.
Narrowing his eyes at the man before him he said, "We've not met but you
know me."
Maury R. Tee smiled at that, his incisors almost a bit too
sharp. "I make it my business to know the Command of the station. Good for
business." Holding out a thin hand he said, "Mr. Tee. Maury, is the first
name."
Kane looked at the hand, which looked much like a withered vine
left out to die in the sun, and looked back up at the man. Every cell in
his body warned that this man was trouble. Oh not the "Dominion have teamed
up with the Calnarians and are invading" kind of trouble but the "will make
my life more of a hell than it needs to be at 10 in the morning" kind of
trouble. Still he was the CO of the place. Making it one of the shortest
handshakes in history, Kane nodded and said, "Captain Kane, as you well
know." With that he turned back to looking at the bric-a-brac on the
shelves.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Kane noticed out of the corner of his eye that Tee had stiffened
up at those clicks.
Click.
Click.
Click.
The sound of the sharp clicks on the linoleum was having an
unusual effect on Tee. He wasn't afraid of the clicks, but more
anticipating the dread it would bring.
"Good morning, gentlemen," came the Italian-accented voice.
Kane looked over at the source of the voice. No stranger to the
news, and the history of the GATEWAY, he recognized the woman standing there
with her black Prada suit and ridiculous high and colorful Manolos which
made her taller than she already was. Still it was more informative to
watch her deal with Tee as a few private security personnel guarded her.
"Ambassador," Tee said as gracefully as he could manage, "an
honor, as always to have you in the shop. May I say that the Amazonian look
suits you well."
Well Kane wouldn't have gone with that route, but then again he
already suspected that Tee was very much his own character.
"Amazonian? Well how interesting," the Ambassador mused as she
folded her arms. "Last time I was in here you were disparaging my heritage.
Now what was it you said…ah yes, I believe strega was something that crossed
your lips. So tell me, am I an warrior or a witch playing with lines of
fate?"
Tee didn't like the woman that much was obvious. She did her
best to throw off his balance of chaos and occasionally (but most certainly
not always) she succeeded which bothered him immensely. Damn the woman, he
did his best to *appear* to be a kindly old man and yet she kept jousting
with him to make him reveal what he really thought of her.
Crash.
A couple of things happened at once. The first was that a
security drone that Kane hadn't noticed suddenly swung into action. "We
have a crash in Aisle 3," he announced. At the same time that a teenage
male announced, "Sorry Ambassador Bonviva."
"Eilean," Xana announced as the Xenxenian guard inclined her
head towards the blue woman, "make sure Ben gets out of here." As the
Security personnel dealt with that, Bonviva then addressed Arcadian who up
until now had been behind the Security detail, "Mr. Zeman, deal with Mr.
Tee. I'll pay for any charges of damaged goods. Within reason. And tell
our next appointment that we're running a few minutes late."
"Of course, Ambassador," Zeman replied as he melted back into
the chaos that Ben Hiram, the Ambassador's teenage intern, had just caused.
Tee was now with H.W., the security drone, dealing with Eilean
Peri, a highly trained Xenxenian warrior and Zeman, who was slowly showing
himself to be an adroit political sidekick, and Ben the lovesick intern who
had only been trying to figure out an odd trinket to see if it would be
apropos for his crush. With one crash, the annoying shop keep and
his…disturbing tendencies had been dispatched to people who would more than
certainly keep him occupied.
Kane, having turned to watch that little scene, was beginning to
suspect that the Ambassador had that all planned. Turning back, this time
he was the one who offered his hand. "Nice to meet the Ambassador from the
Federation, Ambassador Bonviva."
"Captain Kane, it's always a pleasure to meet a decorated
officer. Especially one who will be taking my old chair," Bonviva smiled,
her face radiating sunshine and happiness and other equally damaging things.
"You should find things move at a different pace here. It's certainly not
the rough and tumble battles that you're used to."
"Are you saying that the GATEWAY is free from danger?" Kane
asked, ready to dispute that.
"Hardly," Xana replied easily. "I'm just saying that life on a
station, especially one with the military, economic, political, and cultural
significance of the GATEWAY is far different, and indeed requires
more…adroit skills than most other positions. Indeed, the skills on the
battlefield, as it were, are not always the most useful here because so much
else is going on." She then tilted her head to the side, letting her white
hair fall to the side, as her violet eyes studied him. Straightening up she
continued on, "Still the GATEWAY is just that – often a passageway onto
something else. Well for however long you're here, I hope that you do enjoy
it."
He had been weighed, measured, and found wanting, Kane thought.
Not all insults deserved to be responded to in kind, or even right
away. Besides
even if he had wanted to respond, the woman was running her mouth again. She
never shut up, or even took out time for air.
Snapping her fingers, and curling her long index finger, Bonviva
summoned over the Arcadian. "The package please," she said. From within
the folds of his tunic, the Chief of Staff withdrew a small white box. Opening
up the box, Xana considered her options and carefully selected something out
of it. Pressing the item into Kane's hand, she said, "A small token from me
to you. I'm sure I'll see you around."
With that she turned to leave the store. As she walked out of the store,
Kane heard the Ambassador calling out to Tee that she'd pay for the charges
to which Tee waved her off, mostly just to get her out of the store. Tee
then walked over to Kane and immediately looked down at his hand. "You're
lucky," Tee told the other man, "she only gave you a cookie. She one time
gave the Chief of Station Security a dead fish."
=/\=
NRPG: No I don't always set out to write massive posts. I just kept adding
to this post over the week and it just…grew and grew…and you get the idea!
But I wanted to deal with the loss of Tomas' Vukovic, show some of Xana's
job, and introduce another NPC – the poor Arcadian who I think Xana will
probably keep but still leave the threat of firing out there LOL
Kenneth, Joy, and Rahul: I hope I did ok, all around. Let me know.
Jerome: I never wrote for Kane before, and I'm sure I messed up so I
apologize for that. But there you go – one nutty Ambassador with a cookie
<G> And yes, please let me know how I did.
Megan: Welcome back <waves>
=/\=
Sarah Albertini-Bond serendipity77_at_gmail.com
Ambassador Xana Bonviva
Federation Ambassador
GATEWAY STATION – 2
Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my
brains.
Man In Black: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle,
Socrates?
Man In Black: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.
-- From "The Princess Bride"
From HyperNews_at_youth.net
This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Sun Feb 17 2008 - 03:10:16 PST