From: Sarah Albertini-Bond (serendipity77_at_gmail.com)
Date: Thu Sep 25 2008 - 20:09:03 PDT
Wrinkle In The Abyss
Continued from "Devotion"
=/\=
Location: Abyss
Scene: ?
=/\=
"People are meant to go through life two by two. 'Tain't natural to be
lonesome." --From Thornton Wilder's "Our Town"
=/\=
The last thing Xana remembered was feeling cold and sticky in the goo, with
an oppressive weight pushing down on her. Oddly enough the goo had an
after-taste like cotton candy and she had made the mental note to ask Cade
if that was intentional.
Suddenly she was no longer in the vat of goo but huddled on a platform that
was moving from side to side. Standing up carefully she looked around. First
thing she realized that she was dressed again in her black dress (thank the
gods), and that whatever it was she was in looked like MC Escher, Lewis
Carroll, and Salvador Dali had gone out drinking and had a good time here.
Staircases were moving around on a whim, at once going up and then suddenly
going down. Doorways appeared out of nowhere, in spectacularly bright
colors, and in varying shapes. Dead trees were in pieces floating around the
air.
And it was *packed* in here. There were souls all around them. It reminded
Xana of the busiest boroughs on BOLARUS IX more so than even her own native
city of Venice, Italy. There was a sense of "going with the flow" with all
the souls moving around.
However, unlike the boroughs of BOLARUS IX, these souls were sad. Even
being a mild empath, Xana could sense their sadness. It was overwhelming, as
if the sadness was an aroma that wafted through the air and was something
she could inhale.
Holding onto the railing of the moving staircase she was on, Xana looked
around. She hadn't a clue how to proceed from here and taking stock of her
surroundings seemed like a logical thing to. And it would have been if she
hadn't been in a psychedelic/lost soul madhouse.
Walking up and down stairs, crawling in and out of doors that changed
shape, Xana felt like she was never getting anywhere.
Suddenly there was more light. Trying to follow the strange beams of light
that appeared, Xana looked around until she figured the origin. It was Jake
– he was on a staircase several levels up from her.
"JAKE!" she bellowed. He was with one of these souls and it was wrapped
around him, much like a blanket.
Jake turned around at that. Xana saw him but confusion burrowed into his
features. And the soul/entity had seemingly unraveled a bit at that, as if
it was surprised that Jake was doing that.
Then the staircases moved around and she lost sight of him. So she tried to
turn herself but damn it all everytime she tried to turn one way they'd turn
another. She whispered his name and it floated on the air up and around her.
When she tried to stop moving the staircases stopped moving and she could
see Jake. A flood of relief filled her and she smiled. Even better he smiled
back at her.
Then the soul wrapped around Jake tightened at that and suddenly he was
gone.
"Damn it," she growled. Unfortunately the staircase she was on splintered
apart and Xana went tumbling down into a black hole, her arms and legs
pointed up as she tried to right herself but could never seem to.
Eventually she landed with a loud *thud*. Looking down she saw she was on
clock that looked like it was melting. Still this was more pleasant than
anything else so she stayed on it – all the while looking for a light. She
had no idea what that meant except that Jake had a light so that's all she
could look for. Peering off into the distance she saw the faint glimmer of
light and tried to guide the clock into that direction. It took some
maneuvering, but once she figured that moving the hour and minute hands were
directionals, Xana took off (as much as a melting clock would allow).
Actually, the former flygirl, found it fun to fly again – even if it was in
this weird place where nothing was ever like it seemed. She let out a laugh
as she guided the clock towards the light.
But as she got closer, Xana couldn't even think, let alone breathe or guide
the clock. So for the first time ever, she crashed her craft. Except this
time she crashed it into the person who was the source of the pale light she
had seen.
Gulping she looked up and accepted the hand offered to her, righting
herself up.
She had sworn when she was by herself in a morgue that she would make Gene
McInnis pay for leaving her, and damned him for leaving her and Dahlia. She
had told Zachary Wen, her friend and Counselor on the USS MCINNIS, that if
she ever saw Gene McInnis again she'd shoot him for the angst he caused her.
She declared war on The Prophets, invoking whatever she could from her own
religion, for the grief she felt.
Now here he was -- Gene McInnis was standing in front of her – just as real
as the staircases that moved and the clocks that melted and could be used as
hovercrafts. She should have been angry; she swore she would be.
Instead she launched herself into him as he pulled her to him and kissed
him with all of the love she had for him while he did the same.
And for the first time in nine months, one week, four days, and twenty
hours...both of them felt alive.
=/\=
Steadfast.
He had once been Commander Eugene Stephen McInnis. Bajoran. Counselor.
Captain. Husband. Father. Brother. Son. But no longer. Now he walked
the halls of the dead. The halls of a GATEWAY Station torn beyond repair.
Halls on the verge of collapse. But he walked them with skill and grace and
completely without fear. He had a mission. He had his duty. He was ...
steadfast.
His task was to guide the dead across that abyssal plain that all travel to
the Boatman, the entity that took the dead the rest of the way. Gene didn't
know where the "rest of the way" ended up. He had chosen not to go. He
remained in the halls of the dead, finding lost souls scattered among the
ruins and the wreckage, helping them to find their way. He did not eat. He
did not sleep. And bit by bit, what life there was left to him seeped
softly away until he was cold and calm and ... steadfast.
There was no time here, though, if he chose, time could dance for him. He
could go forward, backward and ... sometimes sideways.
That was where he found himself now. And why he'd found someone he'd never
expected to see again in all the existence left to him. She ran into him
... literally. He offered his hand to the blue woman at his feet. It was
how he'd been raised. His mother on BAJOR had always taught him to offer
help to a lady in need. He knew her. How could he not? They had lived and
loved and died together. But knowing did not bring back the feeling, the
warmth of life that he had lost along the way.
It was her kiss that fixed that small problem.
It surprised him, that she would fling herself into his arms, that she would
kiss him with frantic strength born of fear and surprise and sudden hope.
He knew about fear and surprise. He had lost hope long ago. But the touch
of her lips on his, the warmth of her breath in his mouth spread like fire
through his body into his brain and the ice that bound his heart melted
away.
"Zee?" he asked, when she finally stopped kissing him. "Is it really you?"
=/\=
She had not let loose of him, and yet each time she blinked he had
changed. It was all of a piece, considering the drugs she'd taken and the
place she'd come to, that he should morph right before her eyes. When she
had first come upon him, he'd been wearing Command Red, as he had on the
EIDOLON. But a fraction of a second later, he wore Medical Teal, for that
was the way he'd begun his service in Starfleet as a Counselor ... and ended
it as well. For a moment he appeared in full dress whites, the McInnis
tartan a rich counterpoint. And the next he wore the dusty browns and
greens of his Bajoran heritage, his "civvies."
But she knew him also as a lover, as her husband, the father of their
child. And in her arms he was quite suddenly and disturbingly naked. She
reacted to the touch of his skin in the way she always reacted, by joining
him, by joining with him. For a time there was no one else and nowhere
else. Just ... them. Together.
She'd never answered his question. And yet, she had.
It was really her. And it was really him.
=/\=
"I missed you," she said finally.
He nodded in return. Kissed her just under her right ear.
"I've gone back a thousand times," he admitted. "Playing it over and over
in my head. How I could have done it differently. How I could have made it
better. But it was pointless."
"No going back," she nodded as well. "You can go back?" she asked, suddenly
interested.
"Only to watch. To learn. That's what I guess this," he waved his hand
about him at the place Xana had created in her mind for them, "is all
about." Their old bedroom on the GATE where they had often talked after
making love. "The only problem it seems is that you have to be dead to
learn anything. And then it really doesn't make much difference to the
people left behind."
"Dahlia misses you, too."
She thought he might cry, but he didn't. He was alive for the brief span
that she clung to him. She gave that to him. But he wasn't really alive.
Not any more. There was no going back. Just a brief pause here and there
perhaps, if the universe allowed it. He didn't cry. Perhaps he couldn't.
Maybe there were no tears in the corridors he walked. But there were plenty
where she was from. Enough for the both of them.
"There are other places," he said, his eyes dreaming. "Like this, but not
this. I can watch there, too, sometimes."
"I don't understand."
He sat up in bed. Xana tugged the covers about them, unwilling to let go of
the fantasy she'd conjured for them. The intimacy of a bygone past. When
they'd been young lovers tangled together in the bedsheets, whispering.
Just as suddenly, it was all swept away.
=/\=
Scene: USS EIDOLON Bridge
Xana and Gene watched as a younger version of himself Command Red stood
nearly alone at the helm, smoke and fire and death all about him. The
klaxons sounding. The image of a terrible Orion Battle Star looming before
them.
Then away.
"I didn't survive this fight," Gene told her as he held her close to
himself. "I never met you in this universe. I never knew the love of a
good woman. Our daughter's laugh. I come here to know that my real life
was better than his."
=/\=
"Oh my."
Gene and Xana were in Venice, Italy on EARTH -- and in fact were in the
backyard of her family's villa. And there was very obviously a wedding
reception going on.
"This I'm not getting," Gene admitted.
Suddenly they saw Xana -- well another Xana -- dancing in a wedding gown and
talking with a very Human man. And then Xana -- the one with Gene -- began
to laugh. "I haven't thought of him in...oh it's gotta be close to 20
years," she said.
"And he is..."
"My very first crush," Xana said with a grin.
Gene looked at the man and then at his love. "Your taste has improved," he
said with a smirk. When Xana elbowed him he said, "I'm right."
Xana's face became soft then. "You know, I remember the day I told him I
liked him. I was about...11 I'd say."
Gene grinned at that. There was something amusing in hearing that Xana
hadn't changed much from 11 to now. It would be just like her to go up to
someone and say, "Hey I like you". It was similar to what she did with him.
Well maybe she had a bit more panache by the time she met him, Gene
thought.
"And did he propose to you too?" Gene asked with a grin.
Xana's became contemplative. "No. He said I wasn't pretty enough for him."
Gene tightened his hold on Xana. "He was an idiot."
Xana ignored that. "I went home running and crying and my grandmothers were
there. And they told me that the universe unfolds for reasons that I
couldn't understand then but I would eventually. And that eventually I'd
find someone who would appreciate me more."
The azure woman leaned back into her love's arms. "And they were right."
=/\=
They were beyond time here, and they enjoyed this closeness. Even when the
Abyss showed them truly sad things like how they could have grown old
together living a life split between BOLARUS IX, BAJOR, and EARTH surrounded
by grandchildren.
"We would had more children," Xana whispered as they watched.
Gene hugged Xana at that. "I know," he whispered.
They watched the scene of their descendants and afterwards Xana shook her
head. "I have a hard time imagining I would have agreed to
such...an...*ordinary* name as Mark."
Gene rolled his eyes. He remembered this debate from when they were naming
Dahlia. "You know not everyone has to have a unique name."
Xana's violet eyes flashed as she glared at him. "There's nothing wrong
with Dahlia's name!"
Gene's warm brown eyes became soft. "No...it was the perfect name for our
child."
"She was perfect," Xana agreed as the Abyss went back in time to those
hours after Dahlia was born and it was the three of them together in their
quarters in the GATE.
Suddenly Xana became frozen; panic struck Gene. Grasping onto her shoulders
he began to shake her, "Zee? Xana!?"
"Oh thank Kahless – I was becoming *perfectly* sick watching and listening
to the two of you."
Gene turned around at the sound of that sultry voice. The golden-green
woman standing before him in a scandalous gown with her ebony curls tossed
back glared at him while folding her arms. "Kalilah..." he said with a
warning in his voice. "What did you do to Xana?"
Kalilah Sierixa Nixa, the Orion-Betazoid who had been both Gene's best
friend and biggest antagonist while both were living, simply stared at the
Bajoran-Human. "Far be it from me to save that social-disease incubating
hussy that was your wife, but I thought *you* might want to."
Gene ignored the barb from Kalilah and got out of the "bed" and stood
before his friend, back in his Counseling teal. "What?" he asked. Kalilah
hated Xana, and she was far from being nice and polite...the thing was that
she didn't lie. And Gene knew that.
"How long do you think she should be here?" Kalilah challenged.
"Time doesn't exist here," Gene argued.
Kalilah rolled her black eyes. "It exists where she is!" Pointing to Xana
who was still "frozen" she said, "Your wife is currently in a vat of highly
dangerous drugs on the GATEWAY. She voluntarily came into the Abyss to save
another. Finding you was nothing more than a wrinkle in the Abyss. Here's
the thing though...either the wrinkle unfolds and she goes back to her
mission, or it crumbles up."
Gene slumped down at that. "I miss her," he whispered. "I miss her so much.
There was so much we should have done. Could have done."
"Everyone here has those thoughts," Kalilah replied. Her eyes became soft
then. "Let her go, Eugene. It's the only way."
"She is my wife!" he yelled.
"Was. She *was* your wife," Kalilah corrected. Crouching down she said,
"You're holding onto her but from within the Abyss. She's holding onto you
from the Land of the Living. You're both playing a tug-of-war with things
out of both of your controls. The only way this can work is if both of you
let go. Let her go, give her your blessing to keep living."
Gene looked up at Kalilah. "I'm scared," he admitted quietly.
"You should be. If this was easy, then everybody would be doing it,"
Kalilah replied with that no-nonsense tone that she often took. "Tell me,
are you scared of the Abyss or you two living without each other?" Gene
didn't answer that, which didn't seem to terribly surprise the golden-green
woman. "This is not easy, and it will be painful. The only thing you can
answer is this...what's more important – your love for Xana or your fear?"
Kalilah stood up then. "I will hold the wrinkle in place for a little more
but when I come back that's it – game over."
Gene watched Kalilah move off and was struck by something. "Kalilah...are
you in here because of your psitosis?" he asked, referring to the awful
disease she was struck with while living. Psitosis was a disease that struck
Betazoids (and half-Betazoids) and forced them to enter the Abyss while they
were living and without any cause on their part.
"No," she responded, not turning around. "I'm here for the same reason you
are."
"Oh...Kalilah," Gene exhaled.
Kalilah turned back around. "And you know, on my deathbed – which I hit 6
months after your funeral in case you were wondering – I had the stupid idea
that my friend would be here waiting for me."
Gene had the good graces to wince at that.
"And no, what do I find?" Kalilah continued on, "I find that I've beaten
Eugene to the other side and now I have to go back and drag his sorry ass
across."
"I got it, Kalilah..." Gene muttered.
"Once again what's my job? Get Eugene to realize what it is he's supposed
to do instead of what he wants to do," Kalilah continued on. "Even in the
Abyss I don't get a vacation from *that*."
"KALILAH!" Gene roared.
Kalilah tilted her head to the side in consideration of Gene. She finally
decided to answer his unspoken question. "I knew Tim would survive my
death," she said referring to her husband, "even though he didn't think he
would. He has our family and more importantly, he's strong. If he could
survive Engineering on the SUTTNER and EIDOLON, then he would survive this."
Blinking her eyes the golden-green woman said, "Decide what's stronger –
Xana or the Abyss."
With that Kalilah turned off. "Remember next time, I'm yanking you back
with me whether or not you want it."
Gene sighed as Kalilah left.
"Gene? What was that?"
Gene heard his wife, the worry in her voice. Turning back around he said
quietly, "Last call."
"I'm not ready," Xana whispered.
They were separating already, Gene realized. The bedroom in the GATE was
gone. Both of them were dressed – her in a black dress, and him in his
civvies. "Neither am I," Gene admitted. Grasping her shoulders he said,
"You're strong. I know you are. And I'm counting on that for that for
Dahlia's sake. But most of all to help yourself."
Xana blinked at that. Leaning in she kissed Gene on the cheek. "You're
pretty strong too," she whispered.
Gene held her closely. "You have my blessing, as if you needed it," he
whispered. "Go forth and make yourself happy, in whatever way you think is
best. Take care of Dahlia, that's all I ask for. She'll forget me, so please
give her some of me."
"She already has the best part of you," Xana whispered, hugging her
husband. Leaning back a bit she said, "And you go forth to what you need.
We'll be fine, don't worry about us. Don't look back or sideways at what
could have happened. And you have my blessing for whatever it is you'll be
doing..."
"I love you, Zee."
"I love you, Gene."
Suddenly the wrinkle unfolded and once again they were separated.
=/\=
NRPG: Thank you to Kenneth for agreeing to go along with me for this post as
well as agreeing to most anything I've suggested when it came to these three
characters. Thank you all for reading what is admittedly a rather self (or
selves I suppose) centered post. The characters needed closer and the Abyss
seemed to work well for that. Thank you, Kim, for suggesting it.
For those of you who don't know -- Kalilah was my other character who was,
back when Gene was nothing more than a green CNS, the biggest thorn in his
side and ultimately one of his dearest friends. It only seemed appropriate
that as Gene went to the next step of the Abyss, so too Kalilah would be
there. To harass him for all eternity LOL
=/\=
Kenneth Field
envision_at_fidalgo.net
aka Lt. JG Mowree Nurunyon
aCNS/GS-2
aka Tomas' Alexei Vukovic
covert BORG infiltrator
aka Maury R. Tee
Professor of English (Retired)
Proprietor of "Impulse Drives,"
a little shop of horrors
GS-2, Promenade
aka Commander Gene McInnis, deceased
formerly CNS/GS-2
and
Sarah Albertini-Bond
Xana Bonviva
Proprietor
The Angel's Angst
GATEWAY STATION - 2
From HyperNews_at_youth.net
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