From: Justin Owens (simplisticvalues_at_yahoo.com)
Date: Sat Oct 04 2008 - 19:12:43 PDT
"Idolic Meanings"
Continued from "The Durali Project continues")
=/\=
Location: GATEWAY STATION – 2
Scene: Sickbay
TI: A few weeks ago (before the Durali incident)
Lt. Frexx was one of those persons who never got a lot of glory, which was fine with him. He just wanted to go to work, do his job, get paid, and go home to his family. But he had been on the GATEWAY before it had been the behemoth it was today. He had been on it back when it was GATEWAY STATION (no number attached to it), even way back when it was GATEWAY OUTPOST. What made him special was that he had always been at the front row of history. He was a walking encyclopedic knowledge of the station – and of those who had lived here.
There had been an accident in engineering – these things happened from time to time – and so he found himself in Sickbay being tended to Nurse Gearig, a fellow Bolian. She was quite young, Frexx thought to himself, probably just out of school.
"You know I was kinda nervous coming all the way out to the Gamma Quadrant," Gearig said as she bounced around.
He was probably old enough to be this chit's father, Frexx smiled to himself. "It's a long trip," Frexx smiled.
Gearig nodded her bald head as she busied herself with the hypos. "You know, when I heard I was coming out here, I thought maybe..."
Frexx didn't seem terribly surprised by the quiet trailed off statement. "She's not on the station now. But you never know, she's been known to come back. In many ways this is her home as much as EARTH or BOLARUS IX."
The Bolian nurse took that in stride and kept up her work and tended to the patient once the doctor came over. After the doctor left, and she was left with Frexx again she kept up the typical happy medical chatter that people expected. Finally when Frexx was almost ready to leave she blurted out, "Is it true? I mean what...I saw the interview she did a few years ago with The Bolian Times...but is it *true*?"
Frexx sat back on the biobed. He thought back to six (or was it seven) years ago on a terrible mission when the two of Bolian descent were targeted but only was strapped down to a chair, had high thorassium and caldoir beams aimed at her head and was essentially mind-raped. He thought about the terrible ordeal afterwards and how everyone gave her space to heal. And how even with all that space she never did heal, not at least in such a way that she was like before. Then he remembered four years ago, shortly after she became CO, when she left the station to go to BOLARUS IX to bury one of her beloved grandmothers and came back *very* different. When she left she had blue eyes and a fissure – when she came back the fissure was gone and the eyes were violet.
It wasn't just that though, Frexx thought to himself. It was what he *felt* when he was around her. And it wasn't just him – everyone, Bolian and non-Bolian, commented on it.
"Yes, Xana Bonviva is an Avatar," Frexx said quietly. Putting a hand out on Gearig's arm he said gently, "If you want to talk to her about it, I imagine she'd be fine with that. And while it's not a secret, most people know about it, I wouldn't talk about it too much – other folks just don't understand like we do what it means to have an Avatar."
=/\=
Scene: Promenade
TI: Now
There were quite a few logical reasons why the things that happened. Jake Crichton, had he been there, would have pointed out that after spending considerable time in the Abyss, it took some time to "readjust" to the real world. Cade Foster would have (sardonically, of course) pointed out that the remnants of the "goo" running through Xana's system along with months of not sleeping properly would cause some kind of reaction to "bird boy". And had Mowree been there he would have pointed out gently that no person could handle months of handling everyone else's grief without some kind of outlet.
Xana, after having dropped off her daughter at daycare, was walking with her large dog lost in her own thoughts. She had dispatched Tomas' Vukovic weeks ago to the GATEWAY STATION – 2, acting as her consigliore, to begin work on her restaurant The Angel's Angst. He secured a place, got contractors in and had them begin work on Xana's designs. He also tracked down the chef and his team that she wanted and got them to agree to make a trek out to the Gamma Quadrant.
Now it was her turn, Xana thought. Tomas' had left this morning, claiming he had "work" (which meant the Borg wanted him back) so she was on her own. She stood outside her restaurant and ticked off the things she had to do. She had to do the final cosmetic inspection of the premises. What was more pressing, however, was the engineering work that had to be done. Tomas' had put in a request on behalf of an company called "Quis Tunc" for engineering work – and they had gotten back saying that their request was number 1,490 in engineering's list to get done.
That was not going to do at all, so Xana was contemplating how best to bribe Jake into pushing her up the list when she called him later. Plus, she figured she should thank him again for helping her in the Abyss. And then she was contemplating how to bribe Daisy into looking the other way while Xana bribed Jake into pushing her up the list. The only thing the azure woman had figured out was that copious amounts of food would be involved in said bribery. Possibly liquor and dessert as well.
Looking at the list of things she was going to ask of Jake, Xana amended that to liquor and dessert being required as parts of the bribe.
Sitting down on a bench in the Promenade, Xana scratched Angus' ear. "So what do you think, Angus," Xana yawned while reading a PADD. "I'm thinking that Jake's more of a straightforward guy...barbeque and salad maybe? Maybe a beer or two?" When the dog didn't say anything to that Xana sighed. "You're right, of course, I'll throw in cookies too." Checking off that item while the dog licked her she chuckled and continued on, "We're not done yet. Now Daisy appears to be easier but you and I both know it's not. The woman is already a damn good cook so I've got to step it up a notch. But she's got a family so I'm thinking something for the whole lot of them. But kids are picky...hmm...an assortment of lasagna rolls is a start but I need something else. Chocolaty things for dessert? Bottle of wine for her? No this needs fine-tuning."
A woman chatting with her German Shepherd/Rotweiller was a little unusual but there were all kinds of conversations going on around Xana, even if it was an ungodly (to her anyway) hour.
"Come, daughter--"
"--bid you."
"I know what you are!"
Xana straightened up, unconsciously aware of being uncomfortable. "Let's go, boy," she murmured as she stood up.
And that's when she saw *him*. He was above her, flying around as he was prone to do in the mornings, to stretch his wings. She had no idea who he was, how he had come to have his wings, or why he was (temporarily) blue. In fact she had stopped thinking entirely.
All she could *feel* was her own rush of memories from that time four years ago when a blue winged man took her face in his hands and crushed it, dragged her up the side of a cave – scraping her back in the process, threw her down onto the rocky floor all before yanking her back by pulling on her long white hair.
Xana should have hated him – the one who had broke her face and made her eyes change. Part of her did; but not all of her. It was hard to hate Design, the God of Pain. One of the two gods who had touched her (Serendipity, the Goddess of Love, being the other) and focused her empathy, making her the Avatar of Love and Pain. They focused her – because of them she was now tasked with giving people love and easing their pain. She hated Design; and yet she revered him. Her life was, if for nothing else, partially dedicated to him. She lived with this because she had no choice. Her life was supposed to be the balance for others, and to do that she had to find her own balance.
So much like four years ago, she found herself fearful and feeling oppressed by the sight of the man with wings above her. She feared him but found herself drawn to the man above her, flying around.
She was so angry at herself for standing there, staring, that anxiety uncoiled itself from the pit of her stomach and snaked its way up her and wrapped around her throat so that she was mute. She wanted to run, scream, do something to get away from here. Get away from the awful memories that were threatening her precious sanity.
Xana couldn't though – no more than she could stop the tears streaming down her face.
He came closer and Xana felt him. She felt...pain. The winged man was in pain.
**Design's doppelganger...is in...pain,** she thought numbly to herself. **For the love of the gods, how do I give him love? I have none left to give.**
Thomas really didn’t pay much attention to those that were below him on the various decks, or he tried not to. Really, in all honesty it was rarely anyone that saw him and he tried to make sure where he landed that no one was around. Today however was just happened to be a day where he had an alien in his mind that was enjoying the experience far more than Thomas.
**This is something that I shall never forget Thomas,** she shouted in his mind causing him to lose altitude as her voice caused him to jerk slightly as if she was next to his ear.
Shaking his head Thomas quickly climbed once again before saying in response, "Iliana, you know you don’t have to shout it causes me to loose concentration."
Iliana’s voice came back quite and apologetic, "I am truly sorry Thomas, but this is something that I thought I’d never have the opportunity to do.. Get the aspect of a bird, its truly amazing, and I thank you for sharing it with me, I know she would have loved it"
Blushing slightly turning his cheeks a shade of purple, before all the natural color in his face disappeared with the mention of Adena. Thomas nodded before beginning a descent. The ongoing pleading to continue and conversation with Iliana in his head kept his focus away from the Bolian woman standing there staring at him until it was too late. As his eyes widened he slowed himself causing great gusts of winds to cover the area pushing against Xana’s body.
When he was sufficiently close to the floor he stopped allowing his body to drop before he landed remaining still for one moment. His right knee on the ground with his left bent using his a clenched fist with knuckles against the promenade floor to support him, his body leaned forward. Standing up quickly he looked the woman over to make sure she was ok before beginning to place his coat, that lay on the floor beneath him now, on.
Xana just watched. It would have been voyeuristic if it had not been in such a public space, so instead it was just shamelessly nosy. The tears had slowed down but her face was still quite wet, and her breath erratic as if she had been the one flying. Her mouth moved several times without any sounds coming out; it could have been amusing to see the woman whose mouth was always running to be bereft of words. Finally she looked at him – this winged blue man-- and blurted out without thinking. "Was it intentional? Are you supposed to look like...*him*?"
Thomas blinked at that as he noticed the blue woman with white hair standing there with her large black and tan dog, who was wagging his tail quite happily. The woman, however, was not happy. Although he had never officially met her before (being unconscious in a vat of goo was not really a meeting), it was quite obvious that she was distressed. "Who?" he asked quietly.
"Pain...you look like...Design," she murmured. Seeing his confusion, her thoughts belatedly caught up to the situation. "You're not Bolian are you? No, you'd know...but I assumed...."
"No," Thomas replied, oddly hypnotized by this strange conversation.
Xana nodded her head jerkily. "Oh, of course," she said. As he moved, she flinched as if in pain, closing her violet eyes. "So sorry, not your fault. I'm so sorry. It's an automatic response, I'll get over it."
"I'm used to it," Thomas replied.
Xana winced at the pain that Thomas was reliving, subconsciously, of all those who had shunned him for his wings. "No, no you don't understand," she tried to explain. Waving her hands she grasped at words to explain the situation she was in. "The one...the one you look like...he hurt me." Wincing at the terrible words, and situation she just now put this man in, she said, "Sorry, I'll get over it."
"This man--"
"God," Xana finished off. In for a penny, in for a pound as the expression on EARTH went. Knowing she'd sound crazy she sighed and explained. "You look like the Design, Bolian God of Pain."
Blinking once Thomas looked at her opening his mouth to say something but closed it quickly not sure what to say. In fact the only audible noise that was emitted from him was a surprised and unsure, "well..."
Looking around quickly he adorned his coat and began to close it before smiling an awkward smile as a small crowd of people stopped when they heard the word God being used. Thomas' eyes began to change and infused different colors allowing his pain from the memories to be forgotten and the nervous and anxiousness to come to the fore front of his mind. In his mind Iliana could feel the emotions that he was feeling and all the memories reliving through his head from the station where he was persecuted and sought after by medical and science, the thought of being chased by crazed religious fanatics.
**Thomas, we need to get out of here, run Thomas, *run*,** Iliana was shouting in the back of Thomas mind trying her best to get him to flee the scene..
"You'll forgive my ignorance, but Design, I'm afraid I'm not, not quite sure what you mean," Thomas stated taking a step forward slowly as several Bolian civilians walked by stopping at the sound of the name.
"Blasphemy, how dare you mock the image of the God of Pain," someone shouted out before throwing an item at Thomas, who fortunately was able to catch it in mid air before it struck his head.
Xana stood in front of Thomas as he caught the flying object. "Don't...you....*dare*," she said, her tone indicating that she was barely holding onto her temper. "Strike him again, and you deal with me."
The Bolian man blinked, clearly confused. "But I thought..."
"You didn't think.," Xana corrected. She glared at the crowd assembled, daring them to come forward.
Not all, however, were afraid of this image of the God of Pain. A young Bolian woman, wearing her finest fuchsia flowered dress and Burberry plaid sweater gasped when she saw the Avatar standing so close to the one who looked like Design. Running forward she looked up at Thomas with something akin to adoration, lust, and insanity in her hazel eyes. "Hi," she breathed.
Jerking to the side where the young Bolian woman came to Thomas' eyes widened slightly more as he side stepped slightly, "Um, hello, hello there."
Xana didn't do anything, a fact that would later save her life, but kept her eye on the more angry crowd and less on the fanatical woman. Fanatical woman was a tad shorter than Thomas (about three inches or so), a bit curvier (since he was scrawny looking this wasn't hard to be), but, and this was important – far more driven than he was.
Grabbing his hand and placing it on her chest (and probably far closer to something else that normally wasn't grazed in public situations) she said breathily, "I'm Gracing and...I don't know who you are but you can do whatever you want as far as I'm concerned." Seeing Thomas' face she became thoughtful, "Too much? I never know what to say in these situations."
Thomas' hand jerked back quickly before he took another step back from the woman and the into Xana. Turning and feeling a bit trapped he fiddled with his coat latches undoing them slightly allowing his coat to open and hang freely. Opening his mouth he said in a quite voice to Xana whom seemed to be the only person there wanting to keep him from becoming injured or possibly fondle them, "Can...can I get out of here please."
Xana gave him an odd look, confusion mixed with something else indescribable. Nodding she turned around to the crowd and said with a quietly authoritative voice, "I've never asked anything before...but leave him alone."
Some of the Bolians murmured their disappointment at that; others were confused. Still majority of them moved out of the way, except for Graycyn who kept trailing Xana and Thomas as they made their way out of the crowd. Xana finally turned around and glared at the crowd; someone finally got the hint and pulled back the overeager young woman so Thomas could leave unbothered with Xana.
The Bolian/Italian woman walked into a previously closed restaurant, the sign above which said "The Angel's Angst". Thomas didn't know where they were but he followed the woman and her dog as they made their way inside. He saw a casual dining atmosphere that appeared to be in the middle of construction. He kept following her, past the dining areas, past the probable bar and bakery areas, through a back door. That brought them to a large kitchen area that was a mess with wiring and pipes everywhere.
"Careful," Xana murmured as she stepped over the various items.
Thomas nodded, not really saying anything, just taking stock of everything in the kitchen. He followed her until they were at the back of the kitchen and she had opened up a back door. "These are the emergency stairs. You can take them to any other level in the Promenade." Xana looked at the man as she held open the door for him and said, "I'm so sorry I brought that upon you."
Thomas shook his head once still confused about what the woman was talking about, and the fact that she was protecting yet apprehensive near him. The urge to stay and get an explanation was there but Iliana was shouting for him to run while he could because this didn't feel right. Thomas turned to stay while he was in the doorway of the emergence exit only to hear a shout of desperation and a sight of the young Bolian woman walking through the restaurant, her eyes filled with desire and hatred as she stared at them, "He's mine."
Thomas took a deep before looking at Xana giving a quick nod, "I’m sorry for leaving you with that."
With that Thomas stepped and began moving down the steps to the next level.
===============================
Sarah Albertini-Bond
Xana Bonviva
Proprietor
The Angel's Angst
GATEWAY STATION - 2
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Wed Nov 19 2008 - 03:11:01 PST