From: Margie Benham (madhron_at_yahoo.co.uk)
Date: Mon Jul 21 2008 - 14:25:45 PDT
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"Defying Love"
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Location: E4: VARIOUS LOCATIONS
Scene: Cottage: Living Room
Mad'hron was wearing a pair of jogging pants under a vest t-shirt. The Vulcan hybrid's hair was loose around her shoulders, her bare feet making no sound on the hard wood floor. Her right arm was gently patting Vaksurik's back. Her son snuggled against his mother's neck, his little hands curled into her long hair. She was standing on the balcony of her *cottage*, jutting out over the crater's lake. The twin moons of E4 were full in the depths of night.
The cool night air helped to sooth her emotions, the dark inky blackness of the planet's night was almost complete around the cottage. Another night of not sleeping properly. For once Mad'hron Zanders was grateful that she was part Vulcan and could manage on the bare minimum of sleep to get her through her days, that and the fact that she was still technically on maternity leave made her able to manage.
Her dark eyes were drawn to twin lights blazing across the sky. The hybrid chose to ignore them and glanced down at the soft downy head cuddled against her. She crooned soft nonsense to her son. Her mind reaching out and gently touching the soft pastel colours of her other children's minds. She sighed, even now after 12 months, she was still able to do more telepathically than a typical Vulcan hybrid could. At least this last time he had left her he had given her this unique gift.
She turned and looked at the huge picture that was hanging above the fire place. Regret and sorrow laced through her mind as she studied the happy smiling family mocking her from their gilt frame but she quickly thrust them from her public mind, she did not want to disturb the children. Gliding silently across the thick rug she placed Vaksurik into his basket and looked up at the huge picture.
**Did you regret going this time?** She wondered briefly. **Here I am another night sleepless.** "Well you know what I don't want to feel this anymore, because nothing can stop this pain." Maddie's restless wanderings had brought her to the long wooden dresser and here again his face peered at her from various pictures and paintings. Her voice soft in the quietness so as not to disturb the rest of the sleeping family.
"Here I am still trying to get to a time I can forget you, but still I'm tangled up in yesterday. It was so easy for you to think nothing for me.
I wonder did you ever feel anything?"
Silence greeted her questions. Sighing she moved back to the balcony and stared out over the deep dark liquid green lake, "All I want is for you to cry over me. Maybe die over me, just for one moment."
Maddie's counseling background came to the fore and she considered her thoughts, "Perhaps I just need you to hurt over me. Feel what I feel and maybe to cry over us. Am I cruel enough to want his heart broken? Yes I guess some sign of emotion would have been easier on me. I did want to see the tears tumble down. Just for him to show me that we meant something."
Her dark brown eyes turned up towards the twin moons, "Why was it so easy for him to forget me? But what would I do if he was to come to fall on his knees and crawl back to me. What would I do then?"
-[/\]-
Scene: SPACE / SAH'RIV'S COCKPIT
Two ships dropped out of warp and headed towards the tiny crimson speak of light in the distance.
[[Will they accept me?]] The dark voice filled the silence in the cockpit of the smaller vessel.
"We've told you Fred that we're not sure." T'halian stretched his long arms up above his head and ran a hand through his hair, "But this is your best bet of finding a safe haven."
{{Of course they will accept you.}} SAH'RIV'S silvery voice joined in the conversation. {{They accepted me.}}
[[Yes but you did not try and take over half of the crews minds.]] ROEWEN/Fred sounded worried.
{{You were injured and hurting Fred, please be easy.}}
T'hai stifled a sigh, "You'd better open a channel to the Moon SAH. I don't want Harper shooting at us."
{{Of course T'hai.}}
Harper's lean features suddenly filled the spot before the central control. {{T'hai?}}
"Hi." T'hai responded, "Can we come in?"
{{Of course. I'll warn security.}} Harper paused, {{Does she know you are coming back?}}
"No." T'hai shook his head, "I thought I'd surprise her."
{{Surprise her, you'll give her the shock of her life. Do you want me to warn her?}}
"No." The Tara'saighian shook his head, "Not yet." He paused, "Can you have some engineers ready to look over SAH and FRED."
{{Fred?}}
"Yeah Fred, formally the ROEWEN. He decided to change his name."
{{Fine, when will you be docking?}}
"In about thirty minutes."
{{See you then.}}
-[/\]-
Location: COTTAGE
Scene: Living Area
Mad'hron Zanders dropped her jacket over the back of a chair, she bent and pulled her boots from her feet. Rubbing the back of her neck she slumped into a chair. Silence filled her normally loud and chaotic quarters for a second she panicked at the silence and then remembered that she had taken Kat and the kids up to crater lake for some down time. The Vulcan hybrid knew that they would be safe up there.
A shadow detached itself from the wall, light spilt across T'halian's face. "Hello Maddie."
"Don't you hello me." The pain and rage roared through the normally calm Vulcan hybrid, at the sight of her ex-lover "You left me and the children and then suddenly it's hello?"
"I had to get *Fred* to some place safe." He tried to explain, his normally spikey hair longer than it had been. Faint lines, that hadn't been there the last time they had faced each other, fanned out from the sides of his eyes.
Forcing herself to squash the concern for T'hai she continued to rant at the taller hybrid. "And you couldn't have spent just a few minutes, even a few seconds, explaining that. No you had to throw my love and concern and worry back into my face. And then poof disappear into the great black yonder.."
"Maddie.... Cariad."
"Don't. Just don't." She snarled. "Leave me alone...."
"I can't." The pain laced his voice, "If I could I would but I can't."
"Yes you can. After all you said yourself you have a duty to *Fred*" A finger pointed shakily towards the door, "There's the door watch it doesn't catch your backside on the way out. I'm sure SAH and ROEWEN or whatever will make you more than welcome."
"Maddie..." He ran a hand through his hair, "I was going to come back to you."
"Yes I know." She span on her heel and stalked through the door that lead to her bedroom. "You always do."
"Please let me try and explain." T'hai followed though keeping a respectful distance. He sent his mind's touch drifting gently across the room only for it to run into shields so strong that he hastily pulled back.
"Don't try that. You gave up any rights to melding with me when you left me." She looked over her shoulder at him, "Go make yourself a drink and I'll be out in a few minutes."
T'halian nodded once and disappeared. Maddie stepped back and allowed her bedroom door to swish closed behind her. "Argh......" She screamed once and slammed the side of her fist into the wall. Pulling herself together, she yanked clean jeans and a t-shirt from her shelves and headed for the shower.
-[/\]-
T'hai stood by the large picture windows his face drawn. His hands cupped a mug of coffee. His senses tuned to the faint sounds coming from the other rooms of the building. He had not been here before at least not to this house and he had looked around. Pictures of him with Maddie and the children were scattered around the main living space so he hoped he had that going for him.
He had paused briefly before the image of Mad'hron, Xandria, Tomas, Rosie and Vaksurik. A baby boy with Maddie's dark hair and dark eyes. A baby boy that tore the heart from his chest. He forced himself to move away and he had till he stood here before the picture windows.
He didn't need to have Tara'saighian genes, nor the famed Vulcan hearing to know that Maddie had come back into the room. Taking a breath he turned to face her. The angry celtic warrior who had railed at him had been forced beneath a calm veneer. Her long hair had been twisted and clipped to the back of her head. Her slender frame encased in a simple t-shirt and jeans.
"You have a lovely home." He spoke softly.
Maddie shrugged, "It's somewhere to live. You had something you wished to discuss with me?"
"I wanted to apologise. I should have warned you that I was coming back."
She raised a hand in the air, "Just stop it. You never have warned me you were coming. But it's different now. Now it's not just me." Her eyes narrowed as she racked him from head to toe. "And please don't be kind about it. 'Cos you hurt me." She swallowed, "How you hurt me. Now you feel you've got to be nice. It was bad enough taking it once, but being kind makes it twice."
"I did what was necessary at the time."
"Without even a single discussion about it?"
He stepped towards her but Maddie back stepped out of his reach.
"You know what T'halian. I'm so tired of being here, and suppressing all of my childish fears. So if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave now, because your presence will still linger here and it won't leave me alone." She looked at him, her anger had evaporated and now there was just the raw pain and anguish.
"You know I thought that my wounds would heal. That this time I would be prepared for it, but this pain, this pain is just too real and there's just to much that time cannot erase."
He stepped forward again, "When you cried how I wish I could have been here to wipe away all of your tears. I wish I could have held your hand through all of these months, and you know that you still have all of me." He tried to plead his case.
"You know T'hai, you used to captivate me. But now I'm bound by all that you left behind, and your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams and your voice chased away all the sanity in me." She strived for the calm persona that she had created over the past few months.
"But you know what these wounds won't heal over night and this pain is just as real as when you left. I spent so long telling myself that you'd gone. That you were with me, that you would come back to me, but I can only see how I've been alone all along."
"Maddie that is so untrue."
"Is it?" She looked at her former lover, "Is it really?"
"I loved you with ever fibre of my being."
She regarded the much taller man, "I believe that you believe that, I really do, but you still left." Her dark eyes swam with unshed tears, "I would appreciate it if you would leave now."
"You know what Maddie it wasn't just you feeling all of this pain." He sighed, "I was torn apart with Harper's pregnancy."
"That was just an accident. A really unfortunate accident."
"I know but you had to spend so much time with him, Mads." He almost reached out to her, but her body language made it clear that she was a no go area. "And you pushed me away. Everytime there was a complication you just dropped everything and raced to his side."
"I didn't...."
"Maybe you didn't mean to but you did and I was made to feel like a third wheel."
"I'm sorry about that T'hai but what did you want me to do turn my back on my child?" She pushed herself to her feet and stalked around the room, "Go 'sorry Harper my DNA but your problem.' I mean we'd never kissed or anything it was just a simple touch of hands."
T'hai took a deep breath. "I...."
"It doesn't matter T'hai, it's all in the past. Let's just accept that what's done is done." She turned to face him, "You couldn't trust me then why should I believe that you can trust me now? Or that I can trust you?"
Her dark brown eyes searched his once more, "Please T'hai just leave me alone. Don't come back until your sure that this is what you want, because it's not just me anymore it's the children too." With that she turned and walked away from him.
[[What will you do now?]] SAH'RIV's soft voice filled the throbbing silence..
"Plan B." He whispered into the silence of the empty room.
-[/\]-
Scene: Crater-side (Opposite from the Cottage)
T'hai dropped his sleeping bag onto the ground, and watched as the house lights slowly switched off. A small fire was slowly warming a pan of water.
A tiny creature chittered at him. T'hai smiled faintly and rubbed it between it's ears. "At least you still love me." He grinned and the small creature scampered up his body and wrapped it's long bushy tail around his neck..
**What will you do?** SAH'RIV asked her pilot and joined companion.
**I'm not sure.** T'hailian sighed, **I believe that deep down she still loves me, but I sure did a number on her.**
**We could link, you can dream your message to her.** Fred's deeper baritone touch rumbled through his mind.
"She'd freak out..." T'hai sighed, "I need her to realise that I still love her."
**Then try the dream. What do you have to lose?** The two ships urged.
-[/\]-
Location: COTTAGE
Scene: Maddie's bedroom
Mad'hron stood on the small juliet balcony that opened directly from her bedroom. Her bare arms resting on the wrought metal work. She could see the small fire from here. Briefly she had considered *reaching out* but decided against it. She had made her decision, though why she could not relax about it the Vulcan hybrid had to admit she was unsure.
She missed the kids and part of her mocked her for knowing that she was missing T'hailian. Turning wordlessly she moved over to her huge kingsized bed and climbed under the sheet and duvet. Slowly tears slid down her cheeks and with pain and longing filling her mind she slowly drifted off to sleep..
-[/\]-
Scene: Dream-scape.
Mad'hron found herself once more standing at the base of a huge cliff. Her simple pyjamas had been swapped from a simple pale pink dress which whipped about her legs in the soft sea breeze. Her bare feet sinking into the soft warm sand.
Music seemed to fill the sky and she looked around. A tall figure was striding towards her. His hair being ruffled by the breeze, he was dressed in dark trousers and a white shirt, open at the throat.
"Cariad." He stepped forward and held out one of his hands, his emotions blazing from his eyes, "Come to me."
"No...." Her dreamself whispered and shook her head. "I can't do this again."
"Maddie, Do you believe in love the way that I do? And when you find the one that wherever you go will travel with you? What can I say, where do I start to pick up the pieces of your broken heart?"
"Tell me just one more time, why your heart cannot be mine? Simply look into my eyes and say that the love has gone and I will be man enough to walk away. Please tell me one more time why your dreams cannot be mine because I won't believe its true until I hear it from you."
He had stepped closer to her, his blue eyes blazing with the strength of his feelings, "So do you still believe in love? For there is no right nor wrong love is just an open road which different ways of moving on."
He gently took her hand and this time she left it in his, turning he started to lead her along the water line. "I dare you to stay and work this out with me, for leaving is taking the easy way out, I know that now. So please tell me one more time why your heart cannot be mine? Look into my eyes and tell me that your love has gone and I will simply walk away."
T'hai turned to face her, his mind, both private and public, completely unshielded so she could not fail to feel what he meant, "Please tell me why your dreams cannot be mine? I won't believe that this is over until I hear it from you."
"I want you so badly back in my life, and losing you means that I lose everything that I had. This is so crazy, Cariad, why can you not see that you are the only one that matters to me. You and the children."
They paused on the edge of the sea, "If you love has truly gone then I mean it I will walk away and never come back. Just tell me."
She looked up into his blue eyes, his love, pain, despair and regret flowing across her raw nerves. "I can't say that." She sighed, "You know I can't...." She pulled her hand from his, "I don't know if I'm ready for this again. I don't even know if I will ever be ready for this again. I'm sorry...." Slowly she drifted away from him.
-[/\]-
Scene: Maddie's Bedroom
Mad'hron's dark brown eyes opened and she turned her wet pillow over. Sighing, knowing that she would not be able to get back to sleep, she slid from the bed. Gracefully she pulled on a bathrobe and walked through the empty cottage and out onto her verandah.
Even across the valley her she could see the embers of T'hai's campsite. All she had to do was call and he would come to her. She wrapped her arms around her waist and stepped back into her cottage. The darkness seemed to draw her wounded soul and wrap itself around her in a warm embrace.
Without even thinking about it she had made her way to her piano. Gently her fingers stroked the keys, gracefully she dropped onto the stool and allowed her fingers to start to play.
"It's cold outside, so understand,
If I don't hang around to wave,
I'll say goodbye, and kiss your hand,
And then get on with being brave.
But don't expect to wipe away,
The tears, cause you know they belong,
In someone else's winter way,
Before I ever came along.
And tried to melt the snow.
And tried to melt the snow.
"And meanwhile I'll be here,
And I pray to God above,
That some day you might learn again,
It's you I'm dreaming of.
And meanwhile I'll be here,
And I pray to God above,
That some day you might turn again to me,
Your one and ever love." Her tears tracked unheeded down her cheeks.
"It's cold outside, so understand,
If I don't hang around and cry,
I'll let you go without a word,
And then be bluer than the sky.
And I'll try not to watch you go,
I'll try not to stand alone.
Behind you in the snow,
Behind you in the snow."
"And meanwhile I'll be here,
And I pray to God above,
That some day you might learn again,
It's you I'm dreaming of.
And meanwhile I'll be here,
And I pray to God above,
That some day you might turn again to me,
Your one and ever, one and ever."
"Carry me away,
To a road that doesn't lead to here,
So I don't have to say,
On all the days you won't appear."
"That meanwhile I'll be here,
And I pray to God above.
That some day you might learn again,
It's you I'm dreaming of,
And meanwhile I'll be here,
And I pray to God above,
That some day you might turn again to me.
Your one and ever love,
Meanwhile I'll be here,
And I pray to God above,
That some day you might turn again to me.
Your one and ever love!"
The music died away and Maddie lay her head on her arms. Sleep slowly came over her.
-[/\]-
Scene: Campsite
T'hailian wondered if Maddie realised she'd been projecting. He was leaning against a tree watching the soft glow of the lights from the cottage. He ran a hand over his face and realised that he would have to shave soon.
[[This is my fault.]] Fred's voice filled the echoing chambers of his mind..
"No it's not." T'hai automatically reassured the large ship. "It would probably have happened at some point."
[[But I precipatated it.]]
"Possibly." T'hai grinned, "Right then come on." He kicked sand over his campfire.
[[T'hai what are you doing?]]
"Professing my love, SAHRIV can you lift us?"
[[Of course,]] His ship's soft voice giggled as she caught an image of what T'hai intended to do. Even as she *spoke* he glimpsed a mental image of his sleek vessel taking to the skies.
-[/\]-
Scene: Living Room.
T'hai gently touched Maddie's arm, "Maddie, Cariad, wake up."
"T'hailian I told you to leave me alone." She paused, and rubbed at her eyes, "And since when did you make a habit of breaking and entering?"
"Since it became this important, and you only told me to leave you alone until I was certain" He smiled at her, "Come here with me?" T'hai offered her his hand, and led her out onto the verandah.
"Now I want to ask you something and just for once, stay calm and don't go flying off the handle?"
"Alright." Puzzlement
"I hope you're happy, are you happy now? Are you happy because you think that I've hurt my cause forver, do you think that I'm clever?"
"I hope that you're happy, but I'm too proud to grovel in submission, to feed your own ambition."
T'hai looked hard at her, "You can still be with the Admiral, and all that you have worked and waited for, you can have all you ever wanted. So though I can't imagine how, I hope that you are happy right now."
Maddie looked at him and threw her caution to the wind, "I know, but I don't want that. No I can't want that anymore."
T'hai smiled softly, "Can you believe that something has changed within me, something is not the same. Well I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. And it's too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts close my eyes and leap."
With that he grinned and jumped calmly off of her verandah. But instead of tumbling down to the rocks below the verandah he was floating and holding out his arms to her, "It's time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying love, and you can't pull me down."
Maddie shook her head, "Why can't I make you understand?"
T'hai beckoned to her, "Because I'm through accepting limits, just 'cos someone says that they're so. Some things I cannot change but till I try I will never know. Too long I've been afraid of losing love. Well I guess I've lost and if that's love it comes at much too high a cost."
"So I'd sooner fly defying gravity. So come and kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity and you can't pull me down. Come with me Maddie, think of what we can do together?"
Maddie suddenly smiled, "Together we're unlimted, together we'll be the greatest team that there's ever been. And our dreams the way we planned them."
He nodded, "If we work in tandem."
Mad'hron shrugged out of her robe, "There's no fight we cannot win. Just you and I defying gravity, you, me and the kids defying gravity."
"They'll never bring us down."
Maddie paused, "I hope you're happy, now that you are choosing this?"
T'hai smiled, "Cariad, you too, I hope I bring you bliss. I really hope you understand, and I know I won't live to regret it. I hope you're happy with just me."
Mad'hron Zanders calmly stepped up onto the iron baulstrode and then leapt off, "So if you care to find me," Her dark eyes looked up and she spotted the silver gleam of SAHRIV floating high above them, "Look to the western sky, as someone told me lately: 'Everyone deserves the chance to fly." With the she span out across the valley.
T'hai *flew* across to her and pulled her into his arms, "And I'm no longer flying solo and at least we're flying free. For those who'd ground us, lets take a message back from us. Tell them how we're defying gravity, I'm flying high defying love, and now one is ever gonna bring us down."
Maddie dropped all of her barriers and opened her mind to the warm woody *scents* of T'halian' mental touch. "I hope you're happy."
"I am now." With that he bent his head and his lips covered hers in a seering kiss. After a few minutes he lifted his head and smiled at her, "Have I told you that I love you?"
"I think you just did." She wrapped her arms around his waist, "Just don't go charging off from me again without warning me."
"I promise." He lifted her face and kissed her again. She shivered in his arms and T'hai grinned, "Come on let's get you home." He lifted his blue eyes, "SAHRIV."
Gently the ship moved them through the air and deposited them onto Maddie's verandah. Mad'hron paused just as the stepped inside the cottage, "Oh the sun is coming up." She turned in T'hai's arm and watched as E4's primary rose slowly over the volcano crater mouth.
"I've missed this, I've missed you."
"Then don't go away again." She softly admonished him.
"I promise."
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NRPG: no copyright is intended when I have blatantly ripped off huge chunks of songs. <g>.
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This post was brought to you by me:
Margie Benham <madhron_at_yahoo.co.uk>
Speaking for:
Captain Rharn Alcedo
Commanding Officer
USS STONEHENGE
NCC 12507
-and-
Captain Mad'hron Zanders
Commanding Officer
E4
-and-
Lieutenant Ronnie Zanders
aCEO
USS STONEHENGE
NCC 12507
-and-
Lieutenant Lara Kal'el
CNS
USS STONEHENGE
NCC 12507
-and-
Commodore Morelia Amethystina
Director Of Advanced Command Training
Starfleet Academy, EARTH
__________________________________________________________
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.5 : Wed Oct 15 2008 - 03:10:36 PDT