USS STONEHENGE: Counseling Center ("The Counseling Department Motto..."

From: Sarah Albertini-Bond (serendipity77_at_gmail.com)
Date: Thu Feb 28 2008 - 19:22:58 PST


"The Counseling Department Motto..."

<continued from Joy's "Security Prep">

=/\=

LOCATION: USS STONEHENGE

SCENE: Counseling Center


 "Alright this Counseling Department meeting will come to order," Phia
announced as she hit the desk with one of the foam aggression therapy bats.
Looking around the department she said, "Who has the minutes from the last
meeting?"


 "It was Dr. Crumby's turn to be Secretary," Lt. Philly Peoples called out
as she sat up front.


 "Right," Phia nodded. Turning to the Horta civilian doctor she said,
"Minutes from the last meeting?"


 The Horta shifted a bit in place for several minutes before stopping. Once
there was a clear break Phia nodded and said, "Excellent, thank you. Moving
on to the situation at hand, the USS STONEHENGE will be residents of ATLIV
II. Let's discuss what our approach will be."


 Lt. Cmdr. Ruba-Kass leaned forward and said, "There are five things we need
to remember when dealing with a colonist society--"


 "Not this again," Enisgn Siggy muttered to no one in particular.


 Lt jg Pung gave a glare to his former roommate. "Shut up, some of us find
this interesting."


 "Some of us know how to counsel," Siggy hissed back.


 "Some of us recognize we already don't know everything," Pung shot back.


 Siggy inhaled sharply and folded his arms in across his chest. "And some of
us have faith in our own convictions and don't base our practices on simply
negating other people's practices."


 Phia raised a black eyebrow at the bickering pair. "Gentlemen, anything you
want to share with the group?"


 Naomi Eastner, the lovely Deltan counselor, leaned over to the two and
whispered, "Would you two like to talk about this in group therapy? I'm very
eager to start a couples counseling session regarding frustrations--"


 "NO!" the men yelled at the Ensign.


 "No one wants to come to couples therapy," Naomi sighed.


 "Shit what you two blockheads need is to buy my new book – don't bother
going to one of Naomi's never ending counseling group therapies," Philly
Peoples offered up with a smirk.


 CPO Toucalty shook her head at everyone else. "Honestly we're in the most
useless department – we spend more of our time talking than doing.
Psychiatry has never solved anything that good ol' elbow grease and hard
work couldn't take care of."


 "I'll keep that in mind when it comes time for reviews and I need to
evaluate you on how your patients handle things after a session with you,"
Phia smiled with acidic sweetness. Shaking her head she looked around and
saw the only Ferengi counselor looking forlorn and desperately trying to get
her attention. "What's your problem, Flom?"


 "We didn't spend enough time at E4," he muttered. "I'm never going to be
accepted into the family business if I can't drive traffic to my cousin's
store..."


 "Right," Phia sighed as she scanned the room. "Now back to ATLIV II.
They've just been attacked, and they're colonists on a world that isn't
their homeworld. We'll be dealing with intense grieving, as well as the
usual emotions after an attack. I want us to work with the Medical staff--"
As the groans went up Phia overrode that and continued on, "--and work
together as a team."


 "They don't listen to us!" Siggy yelled. "It comes from their own
inferiority complexes."


 "It comes from their overdeveloped egos," Pung shot out.


 "It comes from the fact that they're seen as the superior scientific field
and no one takes psychiatry seriously," Toucalty replied. "We're going into
an area that has massive devastation and we're starting at a disadvantage."


 Naomi was just about bouncing out of her chair. "Massive devastation is
wonderful!" When everyone stopped to look at her she continued on, "I can
finally have a group counseling session!"


 "Honey ain't no one gonna want to talk about sex during a disaster,"
Peoples bluntly stated.


 "No?" Naomi asked sadly.


 "Hell no," Philly replied.


 The Deltan Ensign stopped her bouncing and frowned. Eventually she shrugged
her shoulders and bounced again, "Still I can have patients in group therapy
– it's a start."


 "Whatever," Phia muttered. Shaking her head she said as a chime rang, "Ok
now Medical is coming over to join us in a group session to discuss tactics.
Now what's our motto?"


 "No matter how insane we are--" Rogers began.


 "--we're still saner than every other department," Hammerstein finished
off.


 "Fantastic," Phia nodded. As Drs. Jos and Dr. Foster came into the
Counseling Center she smiled at them and said, "Thank you for joining us.
Dr. Crumby will update you on what we've covered."


 The doctors nodded and said nothing as the Horta shifted for several
minutes. Finally after he stopped several counselors murmured, "Excellent
job, Crumby" "You tell them" "I couldn't agree more" with the only other
sound in the room being Arjan howling with laughter and Aerdan hissing under
his breath for his brother to shut up.


 =/\=

NRPG: Sorry I ran out of steam at the end there. But I always wanted to show
a Counseling Department meeting. And it just made sense to invite Medical at
the end... <snickers>


 Jamie & Joy: Belated grats you too!


 =/\=

Sarah Albertini-Bond

Lt. Cmdr. Phia

CNS

USS STONEHENGE


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